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Student realizes she doesn't have her homework, but her dad's policital campaign speech, while Dad gives speech talking about liking Mommy and being pretty in dresses. -
Spoon tells fork that first impressions are crucial with her parents, asks fork to do something with his hair, which are fork tines. -
Child E asks Dad E if he'll grow up capitalized like dad, dad says yes, but he has to stay away from drugs, guns, and white-out. -
Humpty Dumpty's wife has remarried another egg, and they have 12 kids, which are eggs in a carton. -
One typewriter tells another her son discovered his Shift key, and now he's starting to say curse words with symbols instead of letters, like #@!%. -
Archie the apple wants to impress date, a pear, with his family tree, showing different apples, like Agatha tempting Adam, Jeffrey bonking Sir Issac Newton. -
Fish parents tell daughter when she comes in door she can't deny it, they know she's been out with piranha, daughter has bite in body. -
Mom letter N wants husband, Nick, to participate since they are in Mexico, she bought funny hats for everyone, which are actually tilde characters. -
Popeye on the phone with mom telling her he appreciates her negotiating his contract except for the clause having him eat spinach in each episode. -
Mother magic marker tells son he's not leaving house without cap because 90% of his moisture escapes through his head. -
Captain Kirk has retired, answers door to see alien woman and alien child, thinks to himself, "Oh, God, not another paternity suit."
