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  • A snail's insurance doesn't cover acts of Todd.
  • A firecracker realizes smoking is bad for him.
  • A baby thinks a woman's nursing degree took way too long because he learned to nurse in 4 minutes.
  • A surgeon accidentally pulls a rabbit out of his patient's stomach.
  • A cat's inbox is full of mice and its outbox is a litter box.
  • A surgeon kisses his patient's organs in the hopes of making them better.
  • Hearing a drug's side effects will make you lose your appetite.
  • A doctor doesn't understand why a woman is upset about eating rat poison, because she's not a rat.
  • A baby sues a doctor for slapping his butt when he was born.
  • Heimlich uses his maneuver to steal from a vending machine.
  • A boy goes to the doctor for cooties.
  • A man notices his doctor's wall doesn't have a medical license on it.