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  • A man's cough tells him to be productive.
  • Heimlich's other maneuvers were just violent.
  • A tapeworm moves out of one stomach so he can live life in Ernest.
  • Columbus tries to travel around his mother's uterus.
  • Humpty Dumpty goes to a reconstructive surgeon.
  • A man asks a woman at a bar "How are you'" and she talks too much.
  • A man cuts the light cord instead of the umbilical cord.
  • A woman wishes she had something to take her mind off her headache while an alligator creeps out of the toilet behind her.
  • A surgeon gives a man a bag of leftovers after his operation.
  • A baby conehead is born with a round head.
  • A man begs a doctor to induce his wife's labor so their baby will be a compatible star sign.
  • A man's X-rays show he has a jealous bone in his body.