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  • A baby is growing up very well, but her vomiting distance is impressive.
  • Heimlich's other maneuvers were just violent.
  • Underdog's super energy pills are steroids.
  • Ants eat an antacid and hallucinate.
  • Common monsters are actually just people with odd conditions.
  • Babies addicted to their binkies go to Binkyholics Anonymous.
  • Humpty Dumpty goes to a reconstructive surgeon.
  • A man cuts the light cord instead of the umbilical cord.
  • A woman wishes she had something to take her mind off her headache while an alligator creeps out of the toilet behind her.
  • A surgeon gives a man a bag of leftovers after his operation.
  • A baby conehead is born with a round head.
  • A man begs a doctor to induce his wife's labor so their baby will be a compatible star sign.