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  • A snake eats a lot because she's pregnant with twenty to thirty eggs.
  • A woman keeps pushing her diet back until after the holidays, but once the holidays end her Girl Scout cookies arrive.
  • Godzilla needs to stop eating Mercury cars.
  • People work out in preparation for Thanksgiving, while a turkey tries to be too skinny to be killed.
  • A container of milk is 2% milk and 98% other stuff.
  • A pig teases her husband about his fat stomach.
  • A jar of peanut butter's husband was smooth when she married him, but now he's chunky.
  • A man with a Bad to the Bone tattoo discovers that he's only bad to his fatty tissue.
  • Spiders want to eat a giant fly off the top of an exterminator's van.
  • Adam eats fruit instead of being fruitful with Eve.
  • A man calls for his dog, Fat Moron Pig, and gets beat up.
  • A man feels insecure at the beach, but his wife says she prefers his washing-machine sized stomach to toned men's washboard stomachs.