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  • Dick Clark pays off Father Time.
  • The Big Bad Wolf decides to retire when the Three Little Pigs move to a house made of fruitcake.
  • In his later years, Sam does not like green prunes and bran.
  • A geriatric patient makes note to call dentist about missing dentures and doctor about pain in butt.
  • The Grim Reaper leaves Keith Richards alone because he already looks dead.
  • A woman's hairless cat turns out to be a regular cat that shaves itself.
  • Pinocchio goes shopping for paint to cover his bald spot.
  • Fuzzy Wuzzy is the Hair Club for Men's biggest success.
  • A grill has trouble getting fired up.
  • The hen that lays the golden eggs goes to the doctor because she's having trouble passing her eggs.
  • Scotty beams up Kirk's toupee, but nothing else.
  • A candle lands on a birthday cake in a spacecraft.