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  • A man quits his modeling job before fully vested.
  • Old Pillsbury Doughboys retire to the Home for the Day Old.
  • Dick Tracy watches as his new nemesis, Plum-Face, is born due to falling to a vat of anti aging Retin-A.
  • Janet's sleep comforter does a horrible job comforting her.
  • Husbands compare scars caused by their wives kicking them under the table for things they said.
  • A surgeon gets a fortune from his patient's stomach during surgery.
  • A woman thinks she sees her Red Hat Society group at the beach, but it's just bald men with sunburned scalps.
  • Credit card is being replaced by bank because it is expired.
  • Scientists test the theory by literally seeing if you are as old as you feel.
  • A snowman's ice cap melts in the sun exposing a bald spot.
  • Grecian Formula hair dye is spilt near gray seals, giving them a new color and nearly causing extinction.
  • Ghosts use irons as an anti-aging product.