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  • Woman working at a card factory has to make own retirement card.
  • A fish gets his wife a birthday message made of other fish, but a carnivorous fish eats part of it and makes him look mean.
  • Mayfly doctor tells patient it is in good health and may live to see another day.
  • Husband angry that wife tweets about his personal problems.
  • Woman is told not to stick with bald one and doesn't know if it refers to date or her tires.
  • Man acts as his own attorney by doing an impression of his attorney.
  • An elderly M&M's m-shaped breasts become w's because they're saggy.
  • New and used bookstore sells books on tape and tape on books.
  • Old woman who lives in shoe adds a hip roof.
  • Boss with misplaced toupee hairpiece lectures on appearance.
  • Dog hopes owner inherits arthritis and drops food.
  • Young squid complains about tentacle-hand-me-downs.