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  • Candy cane on smartphone loves crushes’ online profile photo on candies singles website.
  • Snowman in love says date makes him feel all warm but it was peeing dog.
  • Groundhog learns shadows make shaded smartphone screens much easier to read.
  • Nervous dog dating vacuum cleaner says I’d be lying if I said relationship didn’t scare me.
  • Surprised Santa Claus gave himself large screen television Christmas present.
  • Dad says pet dog Christmas present box is comforter for child’s bed.
  • Fruit fly movie audience enjoys Matt Damon how do you like them apples film quote.
  • Autocorrected holiday texts turnip turns up volume, weightlifter pumpkin pie pumping iron, groovy hippy gravy boat & masher nervous sweet potato sweats.
  • Wife says husband spoils pet cat on lap & kitty says it’s spoiling human.
  • Kitty date at bar ignores loving boyfriend, indifferent distain is enticing turn on.
  • Flirty lady bear at bar jokes forest fire Smokey the Bear named for sexy deep voice pick up line.
  • Oblivious friend gives pink unicorn present to turtles obsessed lady & says can never guess what she might like.