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  • A fish about to be eaten by a series of larger fish warns its phone partner that the signal is about to get worse.
  • The cartoon lists things that prove you might be old.
  • A geriatric patient makes note to call dentist about missing dentures and doctor about pain in butt.
  • An alien vaporizes her husband to cure his cold.
  • A man gets a ruptured spleen phone and a Sports' Most Violent Injuries tape with his subscription to Sports Illustrated.
  • Buffalo's cell phone bills are high because of roaming charges.
  • A woman gets her boyfriend's machine whenever she calls, so she goes on a date with it.
  • Spanky from the Little Rascals has grown up and now does BDSM phone sex.
  • Someone tries to prank a store by asking if they have Prince Albert in a can, but the store belongs to cannibals who have Prince Albert in a jar instead.
  • An insecure cartoonist calls a 1-900 number where someone will laugh at his jokes.
  • E.T.'s mother complains that he never actually phones home.
  • A worm tells his mother that he had a safe trip and that he's now staying in the center of Rockefeller's stomach.