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  • A cat brings a dead bird to its owner, but it's Big Bird.
  • The Feline House of Horrors presents cats with their worst fears.
  • A cat eats meow mix, a pig eats oink mix, and so on, and then a mime eats ____ mix.
  • A cat cuts up newspapers to leave a note for its owner which says "Clean Litter Box or Kiss Carpet Goodbye."
  • The first newspaper cartoon was The Yellow Kid, but he was The Kid before a dog peed on him.
  • A dog changes his name to a symbol and asks to be called The Dog Formerly Known as Prince.
  • The sandman's cat uses his sand supply as a litter box.
  • A cat hacks up a hairball after dinner to make room for dessert.
  • A couple has spinal problems because their dog wedges himself between them every night.
  • A dog tells his wife that if she has to poop on newspaper, she should avoid the sports section for him.
  • A group of people have committed small gaffes like not closing the matches before striking and reusing microwave popcorn bags.
  • Feline Self-Help books cover topics relevant to typical bad cat behaviors.