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  • A crab gets a new position at the company, but it's a lateral move.
  • An auto repair man gets into a car crash to recommend his own repair service.
  • The angel of death tears his robe, so he'll have to sew before he reaps.
  • Sam I am dies and becomes sam I was.
  • An owl at a book store signs copies of its book "Who's Who".
  • A news anchor reports that the farmer's wife has been arrested for killing three blind mice.
  • A woman says she's trying to avoid red meat, but all the meat at the barbecue is burned black.
  • A newspaper boy delivers computers instead of papers after the local newspaper goes digital.
  • A dog eats out of the trash can to cleanse his palate between courses.
  • A pair of spinning tops get kicked out of a topless night club.
  • The food and drug administration writes up a factory for amputating bugs' limbs and putting them in food.
  • The late bird gets to the office after the early birds have eaten all the worms in the kitchen.