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  • A mysterious creature once lived in the floor of movie theaters and ate black jujubes.
  • Martha Stewart told the doctor who delivered her to save her umbilical cord to make into a meaningful wall hanging.
  • Dogs agree to live in a dog-eat-cat world instead of a dog-eat-dog world.
  • Every 10,000 miles, Fred Flintstone gets his feet rotated.
  • A louse is impressed at the height of Cosmo Kramer's cooties' home.
  • George Washington's dentist calls an exterminator to work on his teeth.
  • Cupid reads a book about improving his aim after accidentally making explorers fall in love with hippos.
  • Dr. Seuss tried a lot of failed options before coming up with the Cat in the Hat.
  • A Star Wars bartender accidentally serves a cup of Jabba instead of a cup of java.
  • A woman's resume only says that she can answer Wheel of Fortune questions before the contestants.
  • A mechanic has been acting funny and making weird noises, but he's normal when his wife takes him to the doctor.
  • A cop who moonlights as a waiter offers his patrons pepper spray.