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  • Famous art pieces are liberals.
  • A man is frustrated with his computer so he smashes it with a golf driver.
  • A cat knocks over the vase, claws the curtain, catches the goldfish, coughs a hairball, and sheds, all at once.
  • A bird can't poop on a car, so he paints it with white paint instead.
  • A new headsman gets an axe in the mail.
  • A sign says that employees must wash their hands when customers are looking.
  • A computer technician sets computers up to run Linus instead of Linux.
  • A woman lies outside to get a tan, but her painters drop paint on her instead.
  • Godzilla won't eat a butcher shop because he's a plant eater.
  • A dog prepares to eat the mailman with a package of Mailman Helper.
  • Stock brokers make their decisions arbitrarily.
  • Cats at an office have a mandatory drug screening by peeing in cups of cat litter.