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  • Scallops are jealous of seashells whose job is being mermaid's bra.
  • Mrs. Claus is angry with Santa for going to old girlfriend's house on Christmas Eve.
  • Man thinks he can swipe painting like touch screen tablet to see next one.
  • Witness describes criminal exactly like artist creating the sketch.
  • Downward pointing tail reveals inconsistent message about presentation.
  • Interviewee shows he's not detail-oriented by not wearing pants.
  • Man gets scared faces tattoo on arm to make it more fun when he sneezes.
  • Students using ereaders are reminded to read the book, not watch the movie.
  • Devil's inbox overflows with sinners while outbox remains empty.
  • Free mace samples leave people on the floor blind and in pain.
  • Cake always has frosting missing because dog licks it off.
  • Gerry sells food to fasting patients coming out of blood testing.