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  • A pirate asks who made the sausage and another pirate with a hook says he had a hand in it.
  • A cat keeps ordering more pencils because he loses them under his desk.
  • Dr. Seuss' shortest book is Yellow and White Eggs with Pink Ham.
  • A dog asks her husband if it's okay if she gets another dog for companionship while he's traveling.
  • An egg quarterback starts to scramble.
  • A man on a desert island has writer's block and can't figure out what to write on the message he's going to put in a bottle.
  • A man goes to a Francis Bacon exhibit thinking it was going to be actual bacon.
  • Santa downloads a red nose app, putting Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer out of a job.
  • Amazon employees move items back and forth as a woman adds them to her cart.
  • Nude Descending Staircase becomes Dude Descending a Stairmaster.
  • A witch asks the bartender if the wine has legs.
  • The Girl with the Pearl Earring gets a bunch of facial piercings.