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  • A news anchor reports that Pinocchio's nose is smaller and his skin is lighter because he's had plastic surgery.
  • A can of Spam tells its therapist that sometimes it lies awake at night wondering what it is.
  • Georgie Porgie sees a psychologist to talk about how girls cry when he kisses them.
  • Gumby has a lapse in judgment and gets a full body massage, emerging all bent up.
  • A man without health insurance goes to a beach littered with needles and pill bottles to feel better.
  • Eeyore sings happily because he remembered to take his antidepressants.
  • Famous cartoon characters are in an eye hospital because of their distorted faces.
  • A sea jelly tries to open a chiropractic franchise, but jellyfish don't have spines.
  • Instead of Penicillin, pharmacist at drug store substitutes moldy bread.
  • Famous, but rather unpopular people who have had medical conditions named after them.
  • Goldilocks' spine is out of alignment because she switched from a too-hard bed to a too-soft one.
  • Product failures chunky pulp milk, caffeinated baby formula, salty Dr Pepper soda, Lee Press-On nose hair, sugar sweet toothpaste, stinky tuna Chicken of the Sea fish perfume, spicy cajun Preparation-H, gross leftover parts chicken soup, vegetable flavor popsicles & feline sleeping pills for insomniac cats.