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  • The Pillsbury Dough Boy gets covered in penicillin mold.
  • All surgeons can afford to give the six million dollar man is a single extra-strength fingernail.
  • A man's fortune cookie warns him he will get food poisoning.
  • A cartoon doctor can't tell if a man has multiple facial features or is just looking around quickly.
  • Cave men throw spears at a woolly mammoth, which makes him feel better.
  • An elephant gets one of his legs turned into a peg so he can pick his trunk.
  • The Betty Rubble Center provides rehab for troubled cartoons.
  • The secret to Twinkies' long shelf life is Dick Clark's DNA.
  • Piranhas are mad that flesh-eating bacteria are cutting in on their territory.
  • A nurse performs an ultrasound on an egg pregnant with a baby chick.
  • Fish fill their bowl with Alka-Seltzer for a jacuzzi.
  • A man is windblown and beat up because the wind is always at his back and the road rises up to meet him.