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  • Two men wind up in the emergency room with broken arms when they try to play punch buggy with American flags.
  • A log is burning up after flue season is over.
  • A man uses heat vision goggles to find a cool spot on his pillow.
  • A cat goes into shock after hearing about Daylight Savings Time.
  • A piece of toilet paper escapes on foot.
  • A snowman goes to a body sculptors to get his weight redistributed.
  • A cricket wears a no-chirp strip at night to prevent himself from chirping.
  • A chiropractor had to adjust to seeing the bottom of people's shoes.
  • Trial size toothpaste has a trial.
  • A baby can make a wall of sound with his crying.
  • A monster gives the American Heart Association building as a Valentine.
  • The pressure behind a snowman's eyes is so great, he has diamonds for eyes.