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  • A snowflake's fortune cookie says it has a 30% chance of falling today.
  • Instead of walking the tight rope or slack line, a man walks on a loose rope.
  • A fish goes for the "dangerous type": a fishing lure.
  • At the snowman circus, a knife thrower throws carrot peelers at a volunteer.
  • Santa downloads a red nose app, putting Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer out of a job.
  • A man thinks that his mosquito net is working, but then realizes it's a spider web.
  • A man gets bitten by a dog, but it's a vampire dog.
  • A vampire drinks too many drunk people's blood and another vampire says he needs a designated driver.
  • Sharks attacking a diver in a cage prefer cage-free divers.
  • A mouse looks online to see what the cat will be doing at different hours.
  • A grayhound says she's rapid and her friends think she said she's rabid.
  • Charlie Brown makes a Kickstarter and Lucy makes a Kickstopper to stop him.