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  • Mulder and Scully discuss their exes.
  • Mark updates nursery rhymes for the modern age.
  • A librarian wants her daughter returned by 9, or she'll start charging her date nickel fines.
  • A chapstick factory relocates to be near Steven Tyler, Carly Simon, and Mick Jagger to increase profits.
  • Pacman is a bum with a sign that says "will work for little round dots."
  • Instead of Chippendale dancers, Chip and Dale the chipmunks dance.
  • The big bad wolf succumbs to the stress of working two jobs.
  • A caveman getting hit by giant bugs invents the windshield.
  • A hog asks its mom, who has a spot on her back that makes her look like a piggy bank, for a bigger allowance.
  • The Pillsbury Dough Boy gets laid off and thinks "I'm toast."
  • A check from mother asks nagging questions.
  • Police detective notifies Peter Pumpkin Eater that his wife ran away to live in a coconut shell on the beach.