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  • A woman's hot flashes mean her heating bills are cheaper.
  • A man gives a woman a bouquet of flowers whose petals he plucked off to find out if she loved him.
  • A businessman's graph is inaccurate because he had the hiccups when he drew it.
  • A turkey takes out a life insurance policy.
  • An airport charges $25 extra for respect.
  • A domestic turkey leaves everything to its kids, but a wild turkey leaves everything to its girlfriends.
  • Seagull babies want to know if they came from the stork.
  • A bank teller gives a robber money bags with the wrong symbols.
  • Marge Simpson's ultrasound shows Lisa with a spiky head.
  • Chess pieces watch a horror movie called Taken.
  • A woman makes a post about spending less time on Facebook, but then obsessively checks to see if anyone has liked the post.
  • A bottle of wine brings home her new boyfriend, boxed wine.