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  • A man hurts his butt because he sits on a bike without a seat.
  • A James Bond villain sets up a ridiculous machine of death.
  • Murphy's tombstone has a misspelling.
  • Cops think aliens in a donut UFO are an advanced species.
  • A man dies because he throws out half his wife's clothes.
  • The Mob puts a man named Longfellow on the rack.
  • Snap snaps and kills Crackle and Pop.
  • The Pillsbury Doughboy dies, and the medical examiner classifies him as a John Dough.
  • Two mice exchange Christmas gifts, which are both mousetraps for pest removal, and the husband encourages his wife to open her gift first.
  • Prison inmate tells visitor to bake him a cake with a file in it, not for escaping, but for filing his ragged nails.
  • Angry driver demands police officer who is giving a traffic violation ticket tell him where the stop sign is that he ran, failing to notice it stuck to his car.
  • Doctor offers patient business card for a knee surgeon, who happens to be the doctor's brother, before he tests the patient's reflexes with a mallet.