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  • An asteroid hits Jerry Lee Lewis.
  • The Tin Man chases the Scarecrow with his axe.
  • A raccoon robbing a bank forgets to wear its mask.
  • A woman's morning breath is so bad that it kills her husband.
  • Santa doesn't like having to put a super pooper scooper under his reindeer.
  • A cop who moonlights as a waiter offers his patrons pepper spray.
  • A dead woman leaves her lingerie to her husband because he enjoys wearing it.
  • A praying mantis refuses to eat any of her children.
  • Mary's little lamb was actually a criminal.
  • The library sues a bookkeeper for not returning his books.
  • A bird lawyer interrogates a bird who bought "To Kill a Mockinbird" about killing her husband.
  • Cops in heaven have donut halos.