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  • Police milk cartons investigating crime scene suspicious unemotional suspect isn’t crying over dead spilled milk.
  • Autocorrected texts change desserts chocolate cake to cape clothing, criminal crème brulée robber, snoring s’more & itchy rash ice cream.
  • Autocorrected St. Patrick’s Day texts change shamrock to shame rock, green beer recycling bear, chocolate pot not of gold & St. party trick card tricks saint.
  • Self-centered psychiatrist complains man in therapy is talking about himself again.
  • Cop says arrested man has right to remain silent but criminal says smelly fart smell was his idea.
  • Cop pulls over honeybee & asks if buzzed but bug driver thinks it’s a set up.
  • Snow cinema audience terrified as horror film salt shaker Jason watches snowflake victim out window.
  • Wasted kitties roll in intoxicating cat-nip pasta after oregano herbs recipe mistake.
  • Scared gingerbread men audience watches gory broken cookies ungreased baking pan horror movie.
  • Xmas mall Santa Claus tells women when asleep wool blanket makes her sweat & drools laying on stomach.
  • Scared pumpkins watch scary dead rotten squash movie Halloween 2 weeks later.
  • Afraid balloons movie audience watch ceiling fan murderer behind floating victim.