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  • One fish tells another it was a real swift move to buy a dehumidifier because their fishbowl is almost empty.
  • Man asks giraffe with severely crooked neck if he can go in first to visit the chiropractor.
  • Two felines dining out in restaurant, one cat is embarrassed because he laughed and food came out his nose, mouse is hanging out of nose.
  • Mom can tell Spike the dog isn't happy with Bobby's new Mr. Potatohead because he has hat, eyes, mouth, and hands stuck to his backside.
  • Woman tells friend she goes into isolation chamber in her home when she wants to make tuna sandwich because she has house full of cats.
  • If people looked like breath smelled, first boss is dog, subway man is onion, some people are cigarettes, 8th grade teacher is pile of poop.
  • Cat feels like his birthday is uneventful, not knowing that right around the corner, a box of 50 pounds of catnip fell out of truck.
  • Hockey referee tells announcer the penalty is on number 8, it's 2 minutes for ruffing, and number 8 is a dog.
  • Two cats on date, one cat thinks the other is embarrassing because he ordered white wine with gerbils.
  • Man gives presentation about changing next year's cat calendar to reflect real life, such as January: Spunky coughs up furball, March: Clyde misses litterbox.
  • Woman admires cat using the scratching post, but cat is thinking he has to sharpen his claws for the new drapes.
  • Woman at dinner table tells guest not to mind Rufus the dog, he's being possessive because man is eating from bowl Rufus usually eats from.